How I Met My Husband Dean Howell

 I was 35 years old, and I’d given up on ever meeting the right man. I’d been living in Los Angeles, California for the past seven years, and the men I’d met ranged from unemployed sponges to flakes, womanizers, and put-you-to-sleep drones. With a deep sigh, I faced the facts: an intense romantic relationship, a sweep-me-off my feet eternal love, was simply not in the cards for me.

Having recently graduated from film school at the University of Southern California, I was writing screenplays and hoping like everyone else to get the big break. And what was I writing? You guessed it—romances. Sigh. Some dreams die hard.

Anyway, I needed a part-time job to support myself while I wrote the Great American Screenplay. So when a college buddy offered me employment massaging the elderly in the new assisted living community he was constructing in downtown San Francisco, it sounded like a dream come true. I’d always loved massaging my family and friends, and doing such physical work would be a good balance since I spent most of the rest of my time reading, writing, and thinking. I’d move back to the Bay Area, which I’d enjoyed while attending Stanford, and I’d make enough money working only 20 hours a week to support myself. And I’d forget about finding a man.

But first I had to go to massage school. I moved back in with my Mom in San Diego and did an intensive 6-month course at School of the Healing Arts. Just before I graduated, a fellow student I knew by sight but not by name walked up to me. She seemed rather embarrassed when she said, “I know we don’t know each other, but I just keep having such a strong feeling that I should give you this.”

She handed me a copy of The Last Chance Health Report with an article entitled, “A natural therapy that improves the functioning of your brain.” It was an interview with Dr. Dean Howell, the developer of NeuroCranial Restructuring, a revolutionary physical medicine technique that helps patients recover from everything from headaches to whiplash, depression, pain, and much more. People from all over the country were flocking to this Seattle naturopathic physician for permanent relief from conditions MDs, chiropractors, and other health professionals were unable to effectively treat.

Since I figured that improving the functioning of my brain was always a good idea, I became intrigued to try this therapy. As luck had it, I already had a ticket to fly to Seattle and for the very next week! I’d long planned the 10-day visit to friends up north (where I’d earned my BA in Philosophy at the University of Washington) before moving to San Francisco and starting work.

I called Dr. Howell’s office to schedule an appointment, but his secretary said he was jammed. It would be several months before I could get in. I explained that I would not be available in several months, that this was my only chance to see him. Finally, I persuaded her to add one more patient to his long day. Little did I know then that my entire future depended on her response. I marvel now at how different my life would be had she not said yes!

All new patients were required to attend a one-hour orientation talk before starting treatment. I remember sitting in the room with a dozen others, and then Dr. Howell walked in and began to speak. I was amazed at the man before me. Not just because he was handsome, intelligent, and articulate. Not even because he was warm and enthusiastic, though he was all of these things. It was rather because he had a nearly palpable aura of goodness about him—of compassion, caring, and genuine love for his patients—that I was blown away.

A treatment sequence with Dr. Howell consists of getting therapy every day for 4 days in a row. When I went in for my first session, he and his assistant were warm and caring, and I—generally very talkative—felt unaccountably shy. I did, however, mention that, besides my screenplays, I was writing a book about alternative medicine. As soon as I began speaking about the book, Dr. Howell surprised me by saying that he would be available for an interview the next evening after work.

I went back to my friends after my session—which, by the way, was amazing—and couldn’t stop thinking about the doctor. Not really in a romantic way (at least not consciously so) but more in the sense of being impressed by the wonder and grandeur of another human being. He had such a powerful and positive presence. I really looked forward to seeing him the next day.

After my second treatment (which was equally amazing), Dr. Howell took me to dinner at a fine restaurant. It was so easy talking with him—like we had known each other our whole lives. We spent five hours talking, laughing, getting to know one another until the restaurant closed, and we hadn’t even begun the interview! We went elsewhere, and I recorded an hour-long interview with him. I felt such a glow from his presence.

The next day, Dr. Howell—Dean—invited me out to his home after work, under the guise of giving me time to ask him a few more questions. He lived on six wooded acres at the end of a large lake, and he took me jet skiing (my first time). We talked for hours more, and I realized that, if I let myself, this was a man I could really fall in love with. The next day, I also had a wonderful time hanging out with him, which was just before I was to fly back to San Diego. A thrill of excitement ran through me as Dean told me that he had serious feelings for me and that he’d like for us to date.

But I felt torn. I was incredibly attracted to this fascinating, warm, and funny man—more than to anyone I had ever met—yet he lived in Seattle, and I was moving to San Francisco. Having tried a long-distance relationship before with disastrous results, I was skeptical about doing so again. However, Dean said he’d fly down to see me anytime he had a day off! With a strong commitment like that, I couldn’t resist giving it a try.

The next time he had a day off was six days later. In the meantime, he called me every night, and we visited for hours on the phone. It seemed that we never ran out of things to talk about. Dean has an encyclopedia mind, always full of stories that entertain and inspire. Several evenings into our separation, Dean began asking me if I really needed to move to San Francisco after all. What about Seattle? Wasn’t that a nice city too? My mind and heart were racing. What should I do?

Finally the six days—which had seemed more like six years—were over, and I picked up Dean at the San Diego airport. I still remember his face when he came off the airplane—absolutely glowing because he was so happy to see me. That night he took me to a fancy dinner—and shocked me by proposing marriage! Even more shocking was I heard a voice say yes—and realized it was attached to my body! However, it felt so right. Right in a way I’d never felt with any other man I’d dated.

Dean had to fly back to Seattle the following evening, but he rearranged his schedule so that when he returned two weeks later (I flew up to visit him in the meantime), we could leisurely drive up the West Coast together in my car. In the meantime, he’d already made arrangements to have all my belongings shipped to Seattle.

I went to work in Dean’s office, at first taking patient photos and later doing massage (good thing I went to massage school after all!). Almost a year to the day after we met, on September 6, 1998, we were married on a grassy knoll above his house on the lake.

We’ve now been married over six years, and I love and appreciate Dean more all the time. Every day I thank the universe for the presence of this incredible human being—my husband, lover, companion, and friend—in my life. He is truly a blessing to me and to all who meet him!

Trisha Howell, President

Howell Canyon Press

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Snohomish, WA 98290

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